Team, I'm afraid I have bad news.
At 7:15 this morning, the terrorists carried out their attack.
- What? - But how can that be?
Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo.
It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. Was wrong
about the Chechnyans being in charge.
That was bad, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
- Very bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. - I'm sorry.
We have to find out who did this and take them down. Fast.
Sir, I am intercepting communications about the terrorists' identities.
On screen.
This is breaking news with Peter Jennings.
An attack in Panama today has left thousands dead.
Taking credit were terrorists from Derka Derkastan.
Of course, Derka Derkastan.
The terrorists claim that the attack was a retaliation
for Team America's actions in Cairo.
Alec Baldwin is rallying all the members of the Film Actors Guild.
- Alec Baldwin? - Gary?
He's my hero.
The single greatest actor of all time.
Who is to blame for these attacks in Panama?
The terrorists?
The person who supplied them with WMDs?
No. Blame Team America.
Their reckless disregard in Cairo brought on this violence today.
Team America, the blood of the victims of Panama is on your hands.
Moved by Baldwin's impassioned speech,
hundreds of people turned out at Mount Rushmore today to protest.
Hey, that's here.
Tom, it looks like filmmaker Michael Moore
is also jumping on the "Fuck Team America" bandwagon.
Protesting is not enough.
We must take radical action against the fascists in our own country.
Bring it down! Bring it all down!
Team, if the Derka Derkastanis have weapons of mass destruction,
I'm afraid it could be 9/11 times 1,000.
- Jesus, you mean...? - Yes.
Nine hundred and eleven thousand.
Then forget all these assholes. We got work to do.
Yes, let's get Gary valmorphanized so he can use his acting.
My acting?
My acting? My acting just got a thousand people killed.
Jesus, I've done it again.
Pull yourself together, Gary. We need you now more than ever.
- I'm through with this. - Gary, you can't go.
Without you, the team is doomed.
Remember, there is no "I" in Team America.
Yes, there is.
I know it's hard, Gary.
But you're still the only hope to stop these newer terrorists.
Why me? Why am I the only one?
Because you're the one with the power to...
Well, I don't want the fucking power!
I don't want the guilt, I don't want the shame
and I don't want the responsibility.
Then what about all the things you promised last night?
You said you'd never leave.
I said I'd never die. But now I'm dead inside.
You slept with Gary?
- Sarah. - But you knew I liked Gary.
I told you.
You like Gary?
Oh, I see.
- I didn't plan on it happening, Sarah. - Save it, Lisa.
You see? All I do is hurt people.
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
I'm sorry I'm not the man you think I am.
I'm just bad news.
I'll never act again.
Fuck him. We don't need an actor.
We can take out the Derka Derkastanis
the old-fashioned way.
No. It would be a suicide mission.
That's all right. I feel a little bit like dying.
Goddamn it, Gary.
America Fuck, yeah
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah
America Fuck, yeah
Freedom is the only way Yeah
Terrorists, your game is through
'Cause now you have to answer to
America Fuck, yeah
America Fuck
Gary! Help me! Get this thing off of me! Gary!
All right, team. We're nearing Derka Derkastan.
Let's get ready.
Look out! We've got terrorist aircraft.
There's only five of them, team. This should be easy.
I've got Korean aircraft at 1 o'clock.
What are they doing here?
Shoot them down. Rike dogs.
Kim Jong II? Why is he helping terrorists?
I've got one on my tail!
I got you, Sarah.
Bring in the submarines.
What the hell? Something's shooting at us from the water.
- It must be a Korean sub. - Chris, you've gotta take them out.
I'm already on it.
These guys really snuck up on us.
Yeah, there's a lot of that going around lately.
Sarah, you know I didn't mean to hurt you.
No, you just didn't care if you did.
Now, come on, Sarah, that isn't fair.
Lisa can't help it if Gary has feelings for her.
Just like nobody can help it if you have feelings for Gary.
What is that supposed to mean?
Oh, come on, Sarah. You mean you never realized
Joe has feelings for you?
Joe? But you're like a brother to me.
That's all I ever am. Like a brother. It isn't fair.
Hang on, team. Someone has broken into the hangar.
- Baxter? - Hey, Team America.
I got something for you.
- What the hell? - Prepare to die.
Jesus titty-fucking...
...Christ!
Spottswoode!
Oh, my God!
No. He can't be dead.
We've lost I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
I repeat, we have no I.N. T.E.L.L.I. G.E.N. C.E.
Their computers are down. Attack!
- Sarah! - I sense I'm going down.
Sarah! God, Chris, you gotta help her.
I'm on it. Just hang on, Sarah.
Oh, fuck, I've been hit.
Chris, come in.
- Oh, Jesus, I'm hit! - Lisa!
- Going down. - Goddamn it,
I'm gonna have to breach.
I'm gonna hit the water.
Missile lock. I've got missile lock.
I've gotta bail out.
Salvage their ships. If you find anyone arive, you know what to do with them.
Terrorists on screen.
Okay, who brew up Panama Canal?
We were angry about Cairo.
Goddamn it, how many times do I have to tell you?
You don't use the WMDs until you see the signal.
I have worked ten years on this pran.
It is a very precise and a compricated pran.
I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up.
Now, take the weapons where I told you
and wait for the goddamn signal this time. Goodbye.
Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why aren't more people interrigent? Rike me?
I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone
There's no one Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I work rearry hard And make up great prans
But nobody ristens No one understands
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry
And so
I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
There's nobody I can rerate to
Feel rike a bird in a cage
It's kind of sirry But not rearry
Because it's firring my body With rage
I'm the smartest, most crever Most physicarry fit
But nobody else seems to rearize it
When I change the world Maybe they'll notice me
And until then
I'll just be ronery
Yeah, a rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
I'm so ronery
What would you do
If you were asked to give up Your dreams for freedom?
What would you do if asked To make the ultimate sacrifice?
Hey, weren't you the actor in that Broadway show?
Hey, yeah, it is you. Do that scene where everyone gets AIDS.
I don't act anymore. I gave that up.
- Oh, come on, man, just a scene. - I said, get away from me!
I'm completely lost. I've hit rock bottom.
Easy, easy. You gotta calm down there, Chuck.
I hurt people. I'm a dick.
Well, being a dick ain't so bad.
See, there are three kinds of people:
Dicks, pussies and assholes.
Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time
without thinking it through.
But then you got your assholes, Chuck.
And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything.
So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while
because pussies get fucked by dicks.
But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck.
And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get?
You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit.
All right, that does it. Get out of here, you drunk lowlife.
Get out of here, I said.
Lisa!
Lisa. Lisa, are you here?
Get out of the street, you fucking bum!
You gave up on life, didn't you?
My fellow actors, we live in a dark time.
The world is becoming more and more violent
and the idiots in charge are making it worse.
What the world needs is an international advisory committee
who truly understands global politics.
Namely, us.
The time has come for us to start using our acting talents
in a different way.
Yes, we can use our powers to change the world.
We will persuade everyone to drive hybrid cars and stop smoking.
If we focus our acting on global politics,
we can change everything and stuff.
As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers
and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
Matt Damon.
We've all done action films.
If anyone tries to get in our way, we'll show them just how tough
us actors really are.
I'm glad you all agree.
Because I've just been contacted by a very important political leader
who is bringing all the world leaders together
for a massive international peace conference.
And he wants us to be the keynote speakers.
Matt Damon!
Say hello to our new partner.
Herro.
Stop it! Stop it, you're killing him!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
You're not in a position to kill anyone, my red, white and brue friend.
So you're the bastard planning 9/11 times 1,000.
No. You think so small.
You see, I'm about to have an eraborate peace ceremony.
And while all the world's most important people are distracted here,
I will detonate the WMDs
which I have given to terrorists arr around the grobe.
It will be 9/11 times 2,356.
My God, that's... I don't even know what that is.
Nobody does.
You heartless bastard. Why would you do such a thing?
Because then there will be barance.
Every country will be a Third World country.
Just imagine it.
All around the world, there will be massive exprosions.
With nobody to guide them,
the people will break out into panic and rioting all over the earth.
The true nature of humanity is unreashed.
Dog eats dog, as everyone attacks everyone
and fends only for themselves.
Grobal stabirity unravels.
By the time my show is over, it will be far too rate.
Your plan will fail.
You'll never keep the world leaders distracted here for nine hours.
Oh, no? I've got Arec Barrwin.
Dear God.
You are the rast of a dying breed, the frag-waving American.
Well, your rittle dream will soon be over.
I must get back to pranning the ceremony now.
The film actors are on their way.
Perhaps they'll stop in and say herro.
Having so little faith in humanity must make you a very lonely man.
You shall have a front-row seat.
Bring her upstairs.
Leave her alone, you son of a bitch!
Lisa, I treasure your friendship!
Somebody has to stop this!
I miss you more than Michael Bay Missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more than that movie Missed the point
And that's an awful lot, girl And now
Now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say
Is Pearl Harbor sucked
And I miss you
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding Needed a bigger part
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now
All I can think about is your smile
And that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked
And I miss you
Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more Than I miss you
Oh, my God. What the hell happened?
Hello? Anybody?
Greetings, Mr. Johnston.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., what the hell happened?
Our base was attacked by a giant socialist weasel.
But where's the team?
They have been taken prisoner by Kim Jong II in North Korea.
I have intercepted communications that he is planning
the massive attack during a peace ceremony.
Don't move, protester, or I'll blow your commie brains out.
- Spottswoode. - Johnston?
What the hell are you doing here?
Get away from I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
I'm using it to blow up North Korea.
No! The team is in North Korea.
I know. And so are the triggers to WMDs poised all around the globe.
My only option now is to blow up Kim Jong II
and everything around him before he can set them off.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., initiate detonation sequence on the ships.
You'll kill them all.
It's what they would want me to do, Gary.
They would happily give their lives for the good of the world,
- something you don't understand! - There has to be another way.
There's nobody left to stop Kim Jong II.
Let me go.
You? You're a buttfucking quitter.
You walked out, Gary. The team went on a mission without you.
And without an actor, they were like pigs to the slaughter.
I'm supposed to leave the fate of the world in your hands?
I know I walked out, but I'd do anything to take it back.
- Please, just let me help. - You've done enough.
Please, Spottswoode, you have to believe in me.
I want to believe in you, Gary, I really do.
But you've let me down before.
Please, how can I make you trust me?
I remember the first time we met.
You were a simple Broadway actor afraid to get in my limo
because you thought I wanted you to perform oral sex on me.
Do you remember that?
Yeah.
And now the tables are turned, and I don't know if I can trust you.
Just give me a chance.
All right, I'll trust you.
But only if you...
...will perform oral sex on me.
- What? - Right here, right now.
- You can't be serious. - Oh, I am serious.
Look, this is my serious face.
- What will that prove? - It will prove that you are truly ready
to lay everything on the line.
To throw away all your inhibitions and give 100 percent.
We must go back to that first night we met, that first issue of trust.
- Don't you see? - No. I thought you weren't gay.
This isn't about sex, Gary, it's about trust.
It's the eye of the needle, Gary, and we must both pass through it.
Okay, let's do it.
I'll make sure nobody's watching.
Yeah, it looks clear.
Okay, go.
There must be another way.
I guess you won't do everything to take it all back, will you, Gary?
No, no, no. Wait, wait, hold on.
You're saying if I do that, you'll let me help the team?
I'll give you all the time I can.
Okay, let's do it.
Here we go.
And go.
You are dedicated.
Now, let's go get cleaned up.
If you're going to storm Kim Jong ll's palace single-handed,
we have to make you a complete soldier in very little time.
How we gonna do that?
I think I know just what we need.
The hour's approaching To give it your best
And you've got to reach your prime
That's when you need to put yourself to the test
And show us a passage of time
- We're gonna need a montage - Montage
- It takes a montage - Montage
Show a lot of things Happening at once
Remind everyone Of what's going on
And with every shot Show a little improvement
To show it all would take too long
- That's called a montage - Montage
- Girl, we want a montage - Montage
In anything, if you want to go
From just a beginner to a pro
- You need a montage - Montage
- Even Rocky had a montage - Montage
- Always fade out in a montage - Montage
If you fade out It seems like more time has passed
- In a montage - Montage
Radies and gentlemen.
The Film Actors Guild and Kim Jong II are preased to welcome you
to the International World Peace Ceremony.
The most important people from every country
are gathered here in soridarity to cerebrate peace.
There will be music, dancing and, of course,
the biggest stars in Horrywood.
In the box to your reft is the mastermind of this spectacurar show,
the multitarented Kim Jong II.
Oh, herro.
And now we present to you the very best in North Korean music.
Ten years of pranning, and finarry the night is here.
The terrorists know to be in position by the time Arec Barrwin takes the stage.
That's when I trigger all the WMDs to go off at the same time.
When you see Arec Barrwin,
you will see the true ugriness of human nature.
Your plan will never work. Something will stop it.
You stupid, naive Team Americans.
You berieve in true rove and happy endings
even while the world around you spirals downward.
Sometimes believing is all we have.
And as the leaders of your countries, you have the power
to bring the world together under the principles of the Film Actors Guild.
You're gonna knock them dead, Alec.
Ten minutes, Mr. Baldwin.
Who the hell you?
I'm with the Film Actors Guild. I'm here to help with the broadcast.
Then you show credentials.
Hey, you don't need to see my credentials.
I left them at home and I'm running late.
- I berieve him. - Yeah, me too.
Okay, have a nice day.
My God, his acting is better than ever.
Don't worry, fellas, I've got my pass right here.
Please, Mr. Sheen, Mr. Robbins,
you don't understand what Kim Jong II is doing.
Shut up. We have explicit instructions to watch you.
- Yeah. We're supposed to be guards. - We're guards.
- We're guards, huh? We're guards. - We're guards.
Mr. Sheen, Mr. Robbins. Someone has broken into the main hall.
What? Come on, Martin!
- Gary? - What the fuck are you doing here?
Guys, are you all right? Where's Lisa?
What the heck do you care? You walked out on her.
Look, I wanna make things right.
Here, Spottswoode's monitoring from the base.
- Spottswoode is dead, Gary. - Not as dead as you think.
- Spottswoode! - Yes, I'm here, Joe.
- All right, you're alive! - Great to hear your voices again.
Now we've got to get Lisa and stop Kim Jong II.
I'm not going anywhere with this fucking traitor.
What makes you think we'll take you back, douchebag?
- We're doing this without you! - Now, hold on, team.
Gary has already proven to me
that he is 100 percent committed to the team.
He proved it last night by sucking my cock.
All right. Come on, team, we gotta find that stage.
Rook how much they rove my show. The entire audience is so captivated.
And now you see, the new world is inevitabre.
- It's what? - Inevita... Inevitabre.
- One more time. - Inevitabre!
Things are inevitabry going to change.
Goddamn it, open your fucking ears.
- Five minutes, Mr. Baldwin. - Thank you.
- Alec, we have a problem. - Team America escaped.
What? You fools. They'll ruin everything.
We better warn everyone. They'll be headed here.
No. We can't look weak and powerless.
If violence is all those bastards understand, then violence they'll get.
Every actor, grab a gun and keep Team America
from reaching this ceremony at all costs.
Qapla!
I swear they won't reach this stage.
Jesus! What have we got?
Looks like George Clooney and Liv Tyler, 20 yards.
Look out, it's Ethan Hawke and Janeane Garofalo.
Drop your weapons.
Fucking die!
We gotta split up.
Sarah, you and Gary go that way. Chris and I will go right.
No, I think I'd rather team up with you, Joe.
I guess you're with me, cockfag.
- Danny Glover! - Come on, Penn.
- We must protect the show. - Right.
- The stage must be that way. - No. Joe, Sarah, it's a trap!
Very impressive, warmongers.
Now let's see how Kim Jong ll's panthers treat you.
I went to Iraq, you know!
- Susan Sarandon. - Oh, thank God.
We have to stop the ceremony. Kim Jong II is mad.
Here, let me loose. I'll show you where the theatre is.
- All right. - No, Chris, stay away from her.
- Fuck you. She wants to help us. - No, Chris, she's acting.
I am not. The others tied me up
because I wouldn't go along with their plans.
Your skills are fading with age, Miss Sarandon.
You shall die a peasant's death!
Jesus titty-fucking Christ.
I could've sworn she was telling the truth.
That's why they call it acting. Come on, we gotta find Lisa.
I was 19 years old when the musical Cats came to our town.
I couldn't wait to see it.
After the show, I was asked if I wanted to go meet
some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled.
But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control.
Rumpus cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg.
I tried to leave, but Rumpleteazer held me down and...
...I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees.
That's why you don't trust actors.
I'm sorry I've been so hard on you.
If there's still a world left when this is all over,
I'd like to buy you a beer.
Come on, let's go. We're running out of time.
Sarah, before we die, I want to finally tell you that I love you.
No. No, I'm not gonna let it end like this.
We are not your enemy, furry ones. You will not attack us.
Sarah, that isn't going to work. You don't really have mental powers.
Your captors are behind you, Shebas. Show your anger to them.
Sarah, you did it!
Wait. Hold on.
Spottswoode, I think we just found the entrance to the theatre.
Have Sarah and Joe lock on to our...
Gary!
- Actors, ho! - Helen Hunt.
Samuel Jackson.
Matt Damon.
Motherfucker.
Gary, Chris, come in.
And now, radies and gentlemen, Mr. Arec Barrwin.
We are here to usher in a new era without violence.
By following the rules of the Film Actors Guild,
the world can become a better place
that handles dangerous people with talk and reasoning.
That is the F.A.G. Way.
One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say,
"Wow. Good going, F.A.G.
You really made the world a better place, didn't you, F.A.G.?"
Yes, Arec Barrwin. Too bad there won't be a world reft.
Oh, God, no.
You see? No Prince Charming rode in on a white stallion to save the day.
This is the real world.
I'm afraid your world is over.
In five minutes.
Yes, the ticking crock.
Sorry, Team America, but you see, we must live in a time of peace.
Put down the gas can now.
Kill them.
Jackson!
Team, you've got to hurry.
Let's go, bitch. I've done action films.
Come on.
Matt Damon!
Come on, stop trying to hit me and hit me.
Don't fucking move!
Now, isn't that a shame.
You came so close to stopping peace.
But you see, peace always finds a way.
Goodbye, Team America.
I've just got one piece of bad news for you, Robbins.
- What's that? - I'm a smoker.
Now that the world is going to be run peacefully,
we should all drive hybrid cars.
Right now famiries are gathering in parks,
children are walking to school, friends are sitting in movie theatres.
All compretery unaware that the world is about to change forever.
All because of me.
Stop that man.
Gary!
- Team America? - Goddamn it.
Sorry to interrupt the show, everyone, but Kim Jong II
is an international criminal. We're here to arrest him.
Oh, no, you're not.
This is a peace conference.
And if you even try to touch Kim Jong II,
this audience and I will rise up against you.
Fuck off, Team America!
Team, there's no time. You have to convince that audience
to let you do your job.
- Gary, you've got to take the stage. - No. I can't upstage Alec Baldwin.
- He's the best actor in the world. - You have to try.
- I'm not that good. - Actually...
...you're the finest actor I've ever met.
Come on, Gary, hurry. You've got to act fast.
I know you all don't like Team America a whole lot right now,
but Kim Jong II is a lot worse.
You can't outact me, boy. Don't even try.
For the truth is that Team America fights for the billion-dollar corporations.
They are just as bad as the enemies they fight.
Oh, no, we aren't. We're dicks!
We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks.
And the Film Actors Guild are pussies.
And Kim Jong II is an asshole.
Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks.
But dicks also fuck assholes,
assholes who just wanna shit on everything.
Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way.
But the only thing that can fuck an asshole
is a dick with some balls.
The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much.
- Or fuck when it isn't appropriate. - Yes, Gary, yes.
And it takes a pussy to show them that.
But sometimes pussies get so full of shit
that they become assholes themselves.
Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes.
I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world...
...but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole...
...we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies...
...all covered in shit.
Show us what you're doing, Kim Jong II.
Do something, Arec Barrwin!
The... Global warming and... Corporate America...
You are worthress, Arec Barrwin.
Don't fucking move! You were all going to be treated
to a faburous show. But now party's over.
- For I am the great Kim Jong II. - Lisa.
And I am the greatest terrorist ever to have rived.
Terrorize this.
- Lisa, are you okay? - No, Gary, the countdown.
You have to stop it.
- What do I do? - Hit the big "cancel" button!
- Gary, how did you manage this? - Spottswoode helped me.
Spottswoode? He's alive?
Lisa, I'm crazy about you. Will you please forgive me if I...?
You had me at "dicks fuck assholes. "
Attention. Attention, everyone.
All you in the audience should go to your homes now.
Your countries need you. But the world will be safe,
thanks to a brilliant actor named Gary Johnston.
Let me explain to you the kind of man Gary is.
He's a man who knows
that when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact.
A bond that cannot be broken.
He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees
and put that cock right in his mouth.
Wait a minute. Look!
You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong II.
I will return!
You shall see. I will be back!
So rong, earthrings!
We'll be here waiting for you, Kim Jong II.
All right, you guys, I hate to break up this little party,
but there's still a lot of bad guys out there.
Well, then let's go show the bad guys the police are back in force.
Fuck, yeah.
America
Fuck, yeah
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah
America Fuck, yeah
Freedom is the only way Yeah
Terrorists, your game is through
'Cause now you have to answer to
America Fuck, yeah
So lick my butt And suck on my balls
America Fuck, yeah
What you gonna do When we come for you now?
It's the dream that we all share
- It's the hope for tomorrow - Fuck, yeah
- McDonald's - Fuck, yeah
- Wal-Mart - Fuck, yeah
- The Gap - Fuck, yeah
- Baseball - Fuck, yeah
- NFL - Fuck, yeah
- Rock 'n' roll - Fuck, yeah
- The Internet - Fuck, yeah
- Slavery - Fuck, yeah
Fuck, yeah
Everyone has AIDS
- My grandma and my dog Ole Blue - AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
- The pope has got it and so do you - AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
Come on, everybody We got quilting to do
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS
We're gonna break down These barricades
Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS
Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in We'll never pay that bill
Freedom isn't free
No, there's a hefty fucking fee
And if you don't throw in Your buck o'five
Who will?
Buck o'five
Freedom costs a buck o'five
Only a woman
Can brighten up my day
Only a woman
Can touch me the right way Yeah
Only a woman
Is allowed to touch me there
All I ask Is that you're a woman
I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone
There's no one Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I work rearry hard And make up great prans
But nobody ristens No one understands
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry
And so
I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding Needed a bigger part
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now
All I can think about is your smile And that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked
And I miss you
Why does Michael Bay Get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more Than I miss you
Show a lot of things Happening at once
- Remind everyone of what's going on - What's going on
And with every shot Show a little improvement
To show it all would take too long
- That's called a montage - Montage
- Girl, we want a montage - Montage
In anything, if you want to go From just a beginner to a pro
- You need a montage - Montage
- Even Rocky had a montage - Montage
- Always fade out in a montage - Montage
If you fade out it seems like More time has passed
I was sent from planet Gyron To conquer the Earth
I had a terrific pran I thought it would work
Tried to get the earthrings All to kill each other, you see
But it all went wrong And now I must decree
You are worthress, Arec Barrwin You are worthress, Arec Barrwin
You failed in every way And now my stock in you has farren
Your career is starring And you're worthress, Arec Barrwin
That's why I brew your head off And your children are all bawring
Pranet Gyron is inhabited With Zypods rike me
But also with Barmacks Who are giant bees
The Zypods and the Barmacks Are at constant war
So we wanted a new home And that's what Earth was for
But you are worthress, Arec Barrwin You are worthress, Arec Barrwin
You fucked up my whole pran
And now Gyron is smeared With Barmack porren
Your garbage needs some hauring And you're worthress, Arec Barrwin
Now I must return home a failure
I'm afraid the Pit of Cryrock Is carring